Every so often a question comes across my desk and I can’t help shaking my head. I am not a judgmental person – at least I try not to be – but boy, sometimes it’s hard. Today is one of those days. I’m not sure why someone would need to know the answer to this one but that’s really none of my business I suppose. I’m just the answers girl, even if I’m not completely sure I get (or want to get) why the question is even being posed. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Can I Get Pregnant From My Dog?

There are a lot of people out there asking this question and I’m going to just go ahead and assume that is because they’re curious and not because they’re concerned there may be some sort of hybrid bun in their oven. Let me put this one to rest very quickly though because it’s actually pretty simple. No. No, you cannot get pregnant from your dog.

To a lot of people, the idea of getting pregnant with a dog is confusing and disturbing for many, many reasons but let’s say you’re not one of those people and you really think you may be pregnant. Let’s even go as far as to say you’ve taken a pregnancy test and it’s come back positive. It’s time to look at other potential fathers because even if you’ve been getting it on with Rover regularly, there has to be some other explanation for the baby in your belly because Rover does not have the right seed to grow a life inside you.

The reason you are unable to get pregnant with your dog is very complicated and scientific which therefore means the finer points are entirely lost on me. Basically though, members of different species are not able to procreate. It just goes against the rules of nature. A human female is only able to get pregnant using sperm from a human male. A canine female is only able to get pregnant using sperm from a canine male. Following this same line of thought, a human male is also not able to get a dog pregnant, despite what Family Guy would have you believe.

Can My Cat Get Pregnant From My Dog?

This one I can understand a bit better. We had a dog once upon a time that enjoyed trying to, shall we say, impregnate, our cat. It was all for naught though as a canine cannot get a feline pregnant. A feline cannot get a canine pregnant and nothing other than a human being can get a human being pregnant. It’s really only logical when you think about it. When a life is created, that life is basically one set of DNA combining with another set of DNA. Feline DNA is only compatible with feline DNA. Canine DNA is only compatible with canine DNA. Just imagine if this wasn’t true. The world would be overrun with all sorts of freaky creatures. Speaking of freaky creatures …

What About Hybrid Animals?

There are lots of hybrid animals out there and no, I’m not talking about Klaus or his army of hybrids on The Vampire Diaries although I have to admit, that’s something I would definitely sign on for – if only to be bitten by Joseph Morgan. I’m referring of course to actual hybrid creatures that have resulted from a little interspecies hanky panky. Some of the most common hybrids include:

• The Cama (a camel bred with a llama)
• The Coywolf (a coyote bred with a wolf)
• The Grolar Bear (a grizzly bear bred with a polar bear)
• The Hinny (a male horse bred with a female donkey)
• The Liger (a male lion bred with a female tiger)
• The Mule (a male donkey bred with a female horse)
• The Savannah Cat (a common domestic cat bred with a wild African Serval)
• The Tiglon (a male tiger bred with a female lion)
• The Wholphin (a killer whale bred with a dolphin)
• The Yakow (a yak bred with a domestic cow)
• The Zonkey (a zebra bred with a donkey)
• The Zony (a zebra bred with a pony)
• The Zorse (a zebra bred with a horse)

What is the big difference between you and your dog and any of the above unconventional couplings? That one’s easy too. They’re all members of the same species group unlike you and your four legged friends. In other words, even though the zebra and the horse are playing for different teams, they’re at least playing at the same field. You and Fido? Completely different stadiums entirely – different leagues too. It you’re trying to conceive, you might be better off hitting up a sperm bank.

Is Sex with Dogs Dangerous?

In some ways – and this is not me saying I agree with this particular practice – sex with your dog is safer than sex with a person or at least sex with a stranger. You can’t get pregnant, as we’ve discussed but you also aren’t going to be able to contract many of the common sexually transmitted diseases you might get if you had sex with a stranger. When it comes to one night stands or sex outside committed relationships (or even within committed relationships depending on the parties involved), there is really no such thing as completely safe sex and many common STDs can be contracted even with the use of protection and, of course, pregnancy is always a concern as well for fertile women. With that said, there are scores of bacterial infections you should be concerned about. As long as your dog is clean though and as long as you clean up after the fact, it is safe. Not that I’m saying I would recommend dog loving over a committed, monogamous relationship with a human being but as far as health as concerned, you should be okay.

It Sex with Dogs Immoral?

This is where it becomes hard for me to avoid sounding judgmental. While there are a lot of people out there who would say no, I’m not sure I’m one of those people. There’s the issue of consent. Is a dog really able to consent to what’s going on? I’m going to have to say no on that one although I guess that’s not really my call to make. If you’re in a relationship with someone and are having sex with your dog because you don’t feel you’re sexually fulfilled in your relationship then, like it or not, you are cheating. Talk to your partner about your needs. Try different things with your partner. Buy a sex toy. There are other solutions.

Beyond the moral implications, there are legalities involved. Bestiality is a crime. There are a lot of laws on the books I don’t necessarily agree with. I think people should be legally entitled to grow and smoke pot if they want to. I think people should be able to stroll to the corner store and buy a pack of spliffs should they feel so inclined. I also believe a person should be able to take those spliffs to a brothel and spend time with a prostitute if they’re in to that sort of thing. The laws about having sex with animals though – they make sense to me. I am a strong supporter of animal rights and I’m just not sure legalizing dog sex falls in line with my beliefs on the subject.

In the end, what you do with your dog in the privacy of your own home is your business as long as you’re not hurting your dog. A dog is a living creature and that entitles it to certain rights. If it seems willing to have sex with you and that’s how you want to get the job done, who am I to tell you not to? I hope this has been enlightening.